My parents are my backbone. Still are. They’re the only group 

that will support you if you score zero or you score 40. Kobe Bryant 

One of the main challenges of moving to Germany five years ago was to support our children in their language learning journey because we, the parents, didn’t know a single word of the German language. Frustration paid us a visit and despair made me rethink the reasons why we have decided to move abroad so abruptly.

Was it possible for our kids to acquire a language that we didn’t speak at the moment? How could we be their backbone when we felt so inadequate? But I knew it had to work. We just needed guidance, a plan, and tons of willpower. 

Since part of my expat plan A was to ignore the existence of plan B (a.k.a safety net/going back home), I decided to focus on making things work in our new country and I chose to equip myself with the right tools to promote language acquisition at home, even though I was also learning German myself. It was true, I couldn’t help my children as much as I wanted because of lack of knowledge, but I knew I was able to provide emotional and material aid if I had the right attitude and persistence.

Therefore, I began to process this adventure from a different angle; task that wasn’t easy because I have spent several years of my life teaching languages and I was always the one providing input regarding learning a foreign language. I must confess I felt strange and out of place. Definitely, out of my comfort zone. But hey! I didn’t give up and I got terrific results. 

You don’t speak the target language, what to do now? 

First you have to lay the foundation for your children to learn a new language and feel supported by you along the way. Don’t forget that it is important to highlight the reasons behind this decision, ask for their opinion and promote motivation in many different ways. We cannot force our kiddos to acquire another language, so things need to be handled with tons of love, communication and assertive but fun resources. This is what we did to help our children learn German; however, these tips also apply to other languages in and outside the birth country. 

1. Learn the language yourself. Does “teaching by example” ring a bell? Learning the language is a great way to work together with your children and develop stronger communication skills at home. Additionally, it is a fool-proof way to improve your resume, exercise your brain and gain confidence while traveling. It sounds like a win-win situation to me. 

2. Invest time and resources in printed material, videos and music. You don’t need to spend a fortune, check your local library, second hand bookstores, webpages, and Pinterest to look for tools that your children could use at home to work on the communication skills they need to be fluent. Keep in mind that it is necessary to develop four different aspects of communication: oral, listening, writing, and reading. Prepare yourself with the right material. 

3. Contact people that speaks the target language. This is a great way to get your children practice their new skills with native speakers, and it can be done on a regular basis to keep the input of real-like situations going on. At the end, our children are learning the new language to communicate, and it is through speaking that they will achieve higher fluency levels. No idea who to talk to about it? I am pretty sure you have relatives, friends or colleagues that speak the target language and would be glad to help you out! Hiring a tutor is also a great thing to do. Nannies and au pairs are very common in the expat community as well. 

4. Go on, don’t be shy, speak out! Being self aware of our own failures is very common while learning a language. We feel like awkward toddlers baby-talking a language we are far away from mastering. All of this while our children listen to us, carefully, attentive. But they really don’t care. Remember that helping them by reading a text or simply singing a song to them in the target language is good enough. By speaking, we facilitate  the learning process and give emotional aid to our little ones. They will thank you for it in the future. 

5. Be creative. The idea is to provide our children with as much exposure to the language as possible, thing that can be difficult to do when we don’t live in the country where the target language is spoken. However, don’t despair! There are many ways to promote learning of a foreign language. I highly recommend visiting websites from bilingual families and multicultural blogs to get ideas, motivation and support. This is a journey better done with the help of those who already have a little bit more experience than us. I personally like Instagram for quick tips and Pinterest for crafty ideas. Don’t forget YouTube for songs and sing-alongs in the target language. I actually got so many ideas from the web that I even decided to creat Little Nómadas as a way to help parents transit the rewarding journey of raising global minded children. 

6. Put your apron on. One thing I have learnt all these years of teaching Spanish to children and adults is that we need to keep things fun. So what better way to learn vocabulary in the target language than cooking a traditional recipe? Imagine spending time with your children making a delicious dish, learning about the culture and practicing new terminology in a interesting way. You don’t need to know the language for that matter. Simply write down the vocabulary, look for it online so you can listen to the correct pronunciation and voilá!!! You are good to go…. don’t forget to go to the supermarket though, you still need buy the ingredientes. Additionally, you could plan a special family dinner to enjoy the end results of your cooking and learning process and you can invite relatives and friends to show off your new language skills. 

7. Get your kids a pen-pal. Writing and reading are two of the language dexterities that your children will need to develop. Having someone to exchange emails or even snail mail using the target language is a wonderful tool to support the learning journey. Just remember to check well before contacting other people to pen pal. Our children’s safety always comes first. 

So what are you waiting for?

There are many ways to promote language learning at home, you just have to dare to leave your comfort zone and make the process effective, entertaining, and stress-free. Parents support is the best thing your children could receive from you, I’m pretty sure they won’t be scrutinizing your pronunciation or accent, they will be delighted to have you on board! Just remember this will be one of the greatest investments in the future of their careers and it is totally worth it to try!

Make it fun! 

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A Family That Plays Together Stays Together, says one of those quotes I found on the Web after reading about ways to enhance the parent-children relationship during teenage years. And I think it is true. When you are playing a board game with your family, you are strengthening your relationship, but also as a parent, you are promoting communication and social skills that kids cannot find in today’s screen games. Hence, parents and children get to communicate in an easy going situation.

Same thing applies to language learning.

To learn a language by playing board games is fun, cost and time effective, and hands on. Children feel motivated to win the game and since the pressure of not making mistakes is not there, it gives them the reassurance of speaking the target language more freely with no fear. So next time you ask yourself how to support your child’s language learning process, plan a a family game night!

But what are the real benefits of playing board games for language learning?

The advantages are many, however I will enumerate the ones that I believe to be more notorious and encouraging. Feel free to make your own list of pros and comment below your ideas.

• Board games are time effective. The language benefits we obtain for an hour of playing doesn’t compare to what is practiced in a 45 minute-lesson. Yes, in a formal classroom our kiddos learn the grammatical aspects of language learning, but it is by playing and communicating that we will reap the communicative benefits they need to speak the target language.
• Board games are cost effective. Something many families worry about. For us, a family of five, staying home playing Risk, UNO or Scrabble is a cheap way to entertain our children without breaking the piggy bank. You just need to be creative! Also, if you are a monolingual parent helping your children to be bilingual, game night is a more cost effective way of promoting communication than hiring a native speaker to tutor your child for 30 minutes. No, it won’t substitute the advantages of communicating in a real life situation, but when money is an issue, a board game could be a great solution. Don’t forget to visit your local flea market or second hand store to find good deals.
• Board games are fun. Do I need to say more? There are so many games to choose from, that even your most picky child will find something of his interest that would motivate him to play. Remember to involve your kiddos in the search for games. Hunting for entertaining games should be a task for the whole family.

• Board games develop communication skills by encouraging children to use the target language in a real life easy going situation. When we play together we create a safe atmosphere where our kids feel confident enough to speak without having the duress of trying to be perfect. Children feel more at ease to talk in the target language, they laugh, they make jokes, they have fun.
• Board games are hands-on. They are real. Nothing more exciting for children of all ages than to have their opponents right there, at home, and try to beat them. It is more fun than playing against an avatar online… we just need to give our sales pitch, take our kids away from the video game console or mobile phone and bring them to the table. I am sure they will be up to the challenge!
• Board games are a great tool to develop other important skills. While we use board games to learn a language, the benefits of playing a game (besides language acquisition) are countless. Game night is the perfect opportunity to develop fine motor skills. By playing we also encourage our children to reason  and interact with other people, therefore also working on social and reasoning skills.

So, do I need to give you more reasons to take those dusty boxes out of the attic and get a game night planned right away?!! This is your chance to support language learning at home and build or strengthen the communication bridge between you and your children, something so much needed in today’s society. For us, game nights have been an amazing resource for learning vocabulary in German and Spanish, and additionally an exceptional way to connect with our teenage kiddos. Those minutes together mean the world to us. I assure you those minutes will mean the world to you as well.

I am from Venezuela. 

And I dare to ask myself, but from what Venezuela? Which of the Venezuelan realities am I from? The Venezuela I grew up in, sassy and content, irreverent and easygoing, humane. Or the Venezuela that my parents and siblings live in today, aching, arid, bizarre, and hungry. How do I prevent my Venezuelan roots from drying when the fertilizer of my memories reflect a country that is not longer there? 

Are memories rich enough to nurture the soil of my identity? 

I am an expatriate. 

My definition of home has been modified and adjusted so many times that I feel proud of the end result. Home for me is where my heart finds peace, surrounded by my children’s laughter and chatting, my husband’s deliciously grill meat and the dark brown leather couch that accompanies us since 2006. Home for me is the blue sea, the scorching sun, and white sand. I have learned the power of swimming in mountainous lakes and pretend I’m doing it in the warm waters of the Caribbean… I think the fact of just swimming makes me happy. Home is also warm arepas filled with avocado and chicken, German sausages, and heart-warming macaroni and cheese. As you may see, my concept of “home” is not purely based in a specific territory, but an conglomerate of feelings, places, flavors, and emotions. Each of these tied to a country, to a culture. 

Home is also warm arepas filled with avocado and chicken, German sausages, and heart-warming macaroni and cheese

But what happened when I try to bind my memories of arepas with a Venezuela going through an unimaginable crisis so deep rooted that many have lost hope. They do not eat arepas… they have barely anything to eat. My heart aches and I don’t even live there anymore. Now, I have this dilemma of attaching my feelings from my country’s cuisine to an image of hunger. My fellow Venezuelans are hungry, thirsty, waiting for a future that hasn’t been drawn yet. Now, I restrain myself from joining the idea of the blue sea and the food to a suffering Venezuela, a country I cannot go back to. At least not to live. Now, I carefully eat and swim but I do not dare to go further… it is painful. 

I think this is a pain felt by many Venezuelan expatriates. 

Today, Venezuela is in ruins and almost 2 millions Venezuelans have left the country since the year 2000. Deep political problems, an enormous economic crisis and social devastation drove our families to pack their lives and move to other countries. Today, we have families that are completely clueless about what to do to prepare themselves and their kids for the challenges of moving abroad. We go overseas with a bucket full of roots, traditions, and beliefs that are drying. The water of the Venezuela of the past is not there anymore to nurture them. Ironically, we have the biggest oil reserves in the world but there are no antibiotics, diapers, bandaids or bedsheets in the hospitals. Patients die of hunger and infections. There are no medicines, no doctors either. 

We go overseas with a bucket full of roots, traditions,

and beliefs that are drying.

Accordingly to information published by Revista, Harvard’s Review of Latin America, Venezuela was once considered a miracle country. Until the 1980’s it was one of the four Latin American countries certified by the World Bank as an upper-middle-income economy. Its political landscape was stable, democratic and prosperous; its economy was successful with a high income due to oil production. Socially, we, Venezuelans, were very proud of our heritage and we were able to study in high quality universities around the country and enjoy a middle class lifestyle that made us content and strongly rooted in our traditions and land. 

These facts do not exist anymore. 

Now, we abandon our houses, jobs, families, and friends to adventure in foreign lands, looking for a better future. We are too desperate to apply for an expat assignment; but we are not that poor and in risk to be officially considered refugees. We are a grey zone. Today, we read the newspapers, watch the evening news, search online, and we only find chaos. “The land of the Hunger”, “the Country of Teenage Pregnancy”, “oil producer country in ruins”… depressing headlines. I am pretty sure my fellow Venezuelans abroad think the same. We feel lost sometimes… where are we really from? 

Thankfully, I have connected with many Venezuelans around the world and what I see is encouraging. These are people who reinvent themselves, their careers, their whole lives to adjust to a new system in a foreign land. These are men and women willing to work those extra miles to send money to their relatives in Venezuela. These are the byproduct of a country governed by an illiterate drug cartel. Frequently, I see leaders, entrepreneurs and businessmen; these are the Venezuelans that create change from outside. From abroad. These are the Venezuelans who insist in cooking traditional meals to share with their children and friends overseas; thanks to them my arepas are less sad and more diverse. 

These are people who reinvent themselves, their careers, their whole lives to adjust to a new system in a foreign land

However, the reality isn’t the same for everybody and unfortunately many of my countrymen live in poverty in and out of Venezuela. Families are growing apart and children are spending their young years far away from mom and dad. Parents leave their offsprings with other family members and move away looking for a job to live a decent life. Bittersweet truth of people forced to change, connect, and lead far away from their birth country. 

Today, I write about a reality that breaks my heart. Today, I make the choice to show my children the beauty of Venezuela’s landscape, the richness of our culture… the strength of our people. And even though I am saddened by the humanitarian crisis of my birth country, I choose to keep my roots dampened by the elixir of my memories. 

Today, I connect with other global minded people and lead the change my land needs. Today, I change for the better to wholly represent a Venezuela that will reinvent herself and will welcome back many of her sons and daughters. 

I am Venezuelan but also a citizen of the world. 

Yo nací en esta rivera del Arauca vibrador… 

 

Son numerosas los mensajes que recibo de padres preocupados que piensan que no pueden ayudar a sus hijos a ser bilingües porque ellos no lo son. Sin embargo, es una realidad cada día más presente en los hogares de muchísimas familias quienes por motivos laborales, académicos y culturales deciden emprender la aventura de aprender un segundo (y tercer, cuarto y hasta quinto) idioma en casa aun cuando papá y mamá son monolingües.  ¿Pero es esto posible?

La respuesta es Sí.

Criar hijos bilingües es una tarea apasionante y demandante que requiere tiempo, dinero, constancia y mucha imaginación. Aun cuando nosotros no dominemos el idioma que nuestros chicos aprenderán, el apoyo de los padres es invaluable y necesario. Por ende, hablemos el idioma o no, nuestra dedicación marcará la diferencia en la rapidez y eficacia con la cual nuestros hijos adquieren un idioma extranjero.

¿Qué hacer para apoyar a nuestros hijos en esta nueva aventura?

1. Aprende el idioma tú también. Este puede ser el momento tan esperado para que empieces a trabajar en ese sueño de siempre y aprendas un idioma extranjero que te permita mejorar tus oportunidades laborales, viajar a ese paraíso que tanto anhelas o bien divertirte en casa viendo películas con tus retoños en ese idioma que todos a nivel familiar adquieren.
2. Invierte en recursos y herramientas de aprendizaje. Recuerda que para aprender una lengua extranjera debemos desarrollar cuatro destrezas de comunicación esenciales: auditiva, oral, escrita, lectora. Por eso es esencial invertir en material audiovisual, música, revistas, libros ilustrados y diccionarios. La biblioteca local y el Internet son nuestros mejores aliados en esta misión.
3. Contacta personas que hablen el idioma que aprenden los niños. Quizás tu no cuentes con las habilidades lingüística necesarias para entablar conversación con tu hijo en la lengua meta, pero si debe haber algún familiar, tutor, maestro, vecino, amigo o colega que domine dicha lengua y que este dispuestos a compartir con tu niño unos minutos semanales para trabajar en las destrezas comunicativas del idioma. Si el presupuesto lo permite, se podría contratar a una niñera o cuidadora hablante nativa de la lengua meta que le hable a los niños en ese idioma unas cuantas veces al mes.
4. Deja la vergüenza de lado y habla. Tal vez no hablas perfectamente el idioma y por ello sientes pena de expresarte delante de tus hijos. Sin embargo, debes recordar que esto es una aventura que se asume de forma colectiva, en familia, y como consecuencia debe ser enfocada desde la practica y el entendimiento y no la búsqueda de la perfección. Imagínate el orgullo de tus hijos al verte aprendiendo otro idioma con entusiasmo y disciplina.
5. Sé creativo. Hay diversas maneras de exponer a nuestros hijos a la lengua meta, lo importante es querer hacerlo y ser constantes en ello.  ¿Qué no se te ocurre nada? Te invito a visitar portales web de familias bilingües y multiculturales, Instagram y Pinterest. Las ideas están allá afuera, solo tienes que buscarlas. Por lo pronto comparto con ustedes mis favoritas: inscribir al niño en un programa de inmersión en el idioma que se desea aprender, llevarlos a campamentos de verano e invierno en un país en donde se hable dicha lengua, contratar un tutor privado para casa, conseguir unas lecciones de idiomas en línea (modalidad online), participar en actividades sabatinas en centro comunitarios y hasta cocinar. Preparar una receta típica del país de la lengua meta es una forma divertida y sabrosa de compartir y aprender no solo del idioma, sino tambien de la cultura. 
6. Consigue un Pen-Pal. Dependiendo de la edad de tus hijos, tener un compañero de correspondencia es una forma emocionante y efectiva de practicar la escritura y comprensión lectora en la lengua meta. Además, estarás promoviendo el contacto social a través del correo lento o “snail mail” y no solo por medio de las redes sociales.

Ahora bien, estos aspectos se relacionan directamente con el idioma en cuestión. Además, existen puntos que deben ser tomados en cuenta como parte fundamental del aprendizaje de ambas la lengua nativa y la extranjera. Recordemos:

• Fortalecer la lengua nativa. Se ha comprobado que los niños con alto nivel de conocimiento de su propio lenguaje aprenden de forma más eficiente la segunda lengua. La lectura será tu mejor herramienta y no tienes la excusa de que no sabes leer en otro idioma, pues te recomiendo leerle a tus hijos libros en tu propia lengua.
• Mantén contacto constante con maestros y tutores. El binomio padres-escuela siempre será la clave para el éxito de tus hijos en cualquier misión educativa que emprendan. Participa en actividades de la escuela, asiste a las reuniones de padres y haz trabajo voluntario. Está presente.
• Sé disciplinado y constante, establece horarios dedicados al aprendizaje de esa otra lengua y planifica con tiempo actividades que expongan a los chicos a la culturas propia y diferentes.
• Busca apoyo. Todo se hace mejor trabajando en equipo. Contacta a otros padres que estén en la misma situación que tú, revisa los portales en línea de familias bilingües y revistas multiculturales.
• Sé claro en expresar los motivos por los cuales tu hijo aprende una segunda lengua. Explícaselo. La motivación es el motor de la adquisición de una lengua extranjera.

¿De pronto te parece que es cuesta arriba? 

Es normal. Pero debemos enfocarnos en hacer de este proceso de aprendizaje algo divertido que fomente lazos familiares y nutra nuestra relación con los chicos. Por supuesto que habrán momento de desesperación y frustración, pero es vital que nos mantengamos firmes y no desistamos. Aprender otro idioma es una inversión en la educación de tus hijos. No un lujo.  Y como estamos hablando de una inversion para la vida de nuestros tesoros más preciados te voy a dar unos últimos consejitos para evitar guerras campales en casa.

¿Qué no debemos hacer?

Evita amenazar y castigar a los niños por no aprender lo suficiente o por no querer hablar en el idioma meta. La rebeldía de los niños bilingües es un fenómeno comprobado que para nada se resuelve a gritos, exigencias ni regaños. De igual forma te pido que no te rías o burles de los errores cometidos por tus hijos al hablar en el idioma extranjero. Esto tampoco debe ser permitido en tutores, maestros o familiares del niño. Y por último, deja de lado el papel de policía y evita corregir constantemente. Sí, a los aprendientes de un idioma se les deben enseñar la pronunciación y gramática correctas, sin embargo la corrección del error debe ser trabajada de forma natural, poco a poco y siempre y cuando no se atente contra la seguridad y autoestima de los chicos. Como mamá de niños bilingües y educadora siempre busco la forma de corregir que no lesione el orgullo de mis niños, por ejemplo, repito el término o la oración errónea de la forma correcta, de esa manera los niños aprenden por modelo y ejemplo y no por vergüenza. Ideas hay muchas, simplemente toma las riendas del proceso y recuerda que debe ser divertido, eficaz y sobre todo especial para ti y tus hijos.

¡Anímate a aprender otro idioma!

I woke up in the middle of the night very excited. I had a dream: I was happily mingling with colleagues while speaking German. Woohoooo!!! That is great news, I thought. That means that the German language was finally making its way into the corners of my brain… but what is going on with me and my native language? All of the sudden I realize that I was using my mother tongue less and less and increasing the time I speak English and German. In addition, I must confess I find myself thinking in English most of the time, talking to fellow teachers in German and addressing daily activities with these two languages in mind… better said, at the tip of my tongue.

Since language is a huge part of a country’s heritage, I have been dealing with ambiguous feelings. On one hand, I feel proud of myself and the language skills I have developed both in English and German. But on the other hand, it seems to me that I’m separating myself from the rich culture of my country and its people. How to manage to stay really Venezuelan when living so far away, experiencing diverse traditions and communicating in different languages? It seems that the answer was right there in front of my eyes, or inside of my heart for that matter.

Since language is a huge part of a country’s heritage, I have been dealing with ambiguous feelings. On one hand, I feel proud of myself and the language skills I have developed both in English and German.

Staying Venezuelan doesn’t depend on how many times per year I visit this country or how much Venezuelan paraphernalia I decorate my house with. I don’t even own a Venezuelan flag. Staying true to my roots is determined by my commitment to be a better mother, worker and citizen of the world. It depends on my ability to share my traditions with family, friends, and students and still admire theirs. Being a true Venezuelan means to represent my country overseas the best way possible. It means to asmilate to other cultures and respect (and like, why not?) their traditions.

Staying true to my roots is determined by my commitment to be a better mother, worker and citizen of the world.

As a matter of fact I am not forgetting about my country when I meet with friends from other cultures, or when I learn to cook traditional dishes from the United States, Germany and beyond. I’m faithful to my origins when I tell my children stories about the beauty of Angel Falls and when I’m honest and impeccable at work. When I address my clients with high standards while showing them a huge smile always inspired by the blue of the Caribbean Sea (I keep a mental picture of it) and the rhythm of Tamunangue (traditional dance from my hometown). I am a Venezuelan citizen of the world. That’s it. Plain and simple. Magical and challenging.

So, how to deal with feelings of regret and shame when enjoying traditions from a country different from your own?

Just focus on embracing diversity

Ethnocentrism has no purpose in the way of a world citizen.

Being able to appreciate diverse cultures is a powerful resource to adjust to a new place faster and smoothly. Having an ethnorelativistic attitude allows us to enjoy the host country’s traditions while still feeling proud of our own heritage. Remember that we all believe that our country is the best one, avoid making the mistake of harboring arrogant feelings about your origins: ethnocentrism has no purpose in the way of a world citizen.

Today I feel better. The ambiguity of my feelings has faded and now I allow myself to fall in love again. I enjoy every blooming flower of this German spring, every sun ray that goes through the stained glass of Fulda’s cathedral. My feelings for the amazing things found here neither diminish my appreciation for my own culture nor makes me less Venezuelan. It is a more complete me. Undoubtedly Venezuelan, uniquely from every corner of the world… And you, would you allow yourself to fall in love again with every country you experience?